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How to Talk About Suicide at Work: The Words That Open a Door

14 September 2026 · By Peter Kelly

Last Thursday was World Suicide Prevention Day. For 2024 to 2026, the International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP) set the theme “Changing the Narrative on Suicide”, and this is the final year of it. The theme asks for open and honest discussion about suicide. That sounds simple. In most workplaces, talking about suicide at work is anything but.

The Office for National Statistics (ONS) recorded 6,190 suicides registered in England and Wales in 2024. The rate for men was 17.6 per 100,000, against 5.7 for women, and the highest rate was among men aged 50 to 54. Behind every one of those numbers are colleagues, managers and teams.

Changing the narrative does not start with a campaign. It starts with what a manager says when a colleague seems not quite right, and what happens next. In my view, the barrier is rarely a lack of care. It is fear of saying the wrong thing, so people say nothing at all.

Asking directly does not put the idea in someone’s head

Many people worry that asking the question will make things worse. The evidence does not support that fear. In 2014, researchers at King’s College London reviewed 13 published studies, from 2001 to 2013, that looked at whether asking about suicide increases suicidal thoughts. None found a statistically significant increase. The authors concluded that acknowledging and talking about suicide may in fact reduce suicidal thoughts rather than increase them.

Samaritans agrees: the evidence shows that asking a person directly whether they are suicidal can protect them, because it gives them permission to say how they feel.

Directness matters. “You are not going to do anything silly, are you?” invites the answer no. “Are you thinking about suicide?” invites the truth. BS 30480, the British Standard for suicide and the workplace, published by the British Standards Institution (BSI) in November 2025, includes guidance on asking about suicide in a safe, direct way.

The words that close a door

Language carries history. Suicide stopped being a crime in England and Wales under the Suicide Act 1961, yet the word “committed” still hangs around, as if a person had carried out an offence. Samaritans advises against it because it can stigmatise suicide or make it sound like a crime. Say “died by suicide” or “took their own life”.

Samaritans media guidelines also advise against describing an attempt as “successful”, “unsuccessful” or “failed”, against “cry for help”, and against dramatic terms such as “suicide epidemic”. These words turn a person into a verdict.

At work, the words that close a door are often more casual. Jokes about wanting to die over a deadline. “Attention seeking.” A quick “chin up”. None of these are meant to harm, but each tells a struggling colleague that this is not a place to be honest.

Watch for simple explanations too. Samaritans is clear that suicide is extremely complex and there is rarely a single cause. Saying “it was the restructure” or “it was the divorce” after a death shuts down the wider conversation about risk.

What a good conversation sounds like

You do not need to be a counsellor. You need to be present, direct and clear about the next step. Samaritans’ SHUSH listening tips (show you care, have patience, use open questions, say it back, have courage) fit a workplace conversation well.

  1. Choose a private moment and show you care. Put your phone away and be patient if they are not ready to talk the first time.
  2. Ask the question directly and calmly: “Are you thinking about suicide?” Then wait. You do not have to fill the silence.
  3. Listen more than you speak. Use open questions, and say back what you have heard to check you understand. Resist the urge to fix things there and then.
  4. Be honest about confidentiality. Do not promise to keep everything secret. Explain that if you are worried about their safety, you may need to involve someone else, and that you will talk to them about it first where you can.
  5. Agree the next step together. That might be their GP (family doctor), NHS 111 (the National Health Service helpline, which in England has a mental health option), occupational health, the employee assistance programme, or Samaritans on 116 123. If someone’s life is at immediate risk, call 999.
  6. Follow up the next day, and look after yourself. These conversations stay with you. Make sure you have someone to talk to as well.

A script is not enough: managers need a route

Training people what to say is the easy part. What worries managers is what comes after. Who do they call at four o’clock on a Friday? What can they share, and with whom? Who supports them once they have put the phone down?

Too often, organisations buy awareness training, hand out a helpline card and leave the manager holding the conversation alone.

BSI describes BS 30480 as supporting organisations to have confident, consistent and compassionate conversations about suicide. The word I would underline is consistent. That only comes from a system: a clear policy, a named escalation route, toolkits for human resources teams and line managers, advice on when to seek specialist help, and training that matches the roles people actually do. The standard also covers how to support and communicate with staff and families after a suicide, which is the work of suicide postvention.

It also means linking conversations to prevention. If the same pressures keep surfacing, such as workload, conflict or job insecurity, they belong in your risk assessment, not just in a support conversation.

Changing the narrative on suicide is not a slogan. It is a manager who asks the direct question, knows exactly what to do with the answer, and is supported afterwards. If you want help to put BS 30480 into practice, or to build training for managers that goes beyond awareness, that is the work we do.

Frequently asked questions

Does asking someone about suicide put the idea in their head?

No. A 2014 review of 13 published studies, led by researchers at King’s College London, found none that showed a statistically significant increase in suicidal thoughts when people were asked about suicide. The authors suggested that talking about suicide may in fact reduce those thoughts. Samaritans also says the evidence shows asking directly can protect someone, because it gives them permission to talk. Silence helps no one. Ask calmly and plainly, listen, and agree what happens next.

What does BS 30480 say about conversations about suicide at work?

BS 30480, published by the British Standards Institution in November 2025, is a guide for organisations on suicide intervention, prevention and support for people affected by suicide. BSI says it supports confident, consistent and compassionate conversations about suicide, and it includes guidance on asking about suicide in a safe, direct way. It also provides toolkits for human resources teams and line managers, advice on when to seek specialist help, and guidance on supporting people after a suicide. It is free to download from BSI.

Sources

About the author

Peter J Kelly is an occupational psychologist and the founder of Being Real. He spent more than twenty years at the Health and Safety Executive shaping national policy on workplace mental health, sat on the panel that drafted ISO 45003, and was expert convenor for BS 30480. Being Real supports organisations with ISO 45003 gap analysis and certification, BS 30480 implementation, psychosocial risk assessment, strategic advisory and training.

If you or a colleague are struggling, Samaritans are free, confidential and open 24/7 on 116 123.

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